… do not go together. FACT.
I’ve always wondered about those unfortunate souls who have booked their wedding day a year or even two years in advance, blissfully unaware that the date thay’ve pencilled in for matrimony and good times is in fact the last day of the Premiership, and therefore the most important day in many of their male guests’ calendars. Or slap bang in the middle of a World Cup and the day that- it turns out- England are due to play Germany in the semi-finals.
That’s twelve, eighteen, twenty-four months of planning for a dream day that turns out to be smaller than expected because many guests suddenly have a ‘gippy tummy’, or, for two (three if it goes to penalties) hours of the evening reception the dance floor is emptied and that expensive band you paid a fortune for are playing to a couple of lone Grannies because everyone else is gathered around a TV screen in the bar.
Not on my watch, I thought, when imagining my ‘one day in the future’ nuptials. I shall make absolutely sure that my wedding date does not clash with a major sporting event.
The 2013 Champions League Final is on 25th May next year. Our Wedding Day.
I realised this last night, whilst watching England limp pitifully out of the Euro Cup when a sudden lightning bolt struck through my ‘I’m looking at the telly but not really watching’ train of thought.
“The Premier League will be over by our wedding, won’t it?”, I said to Paul.
“Oh yeah”, he said, “it’s usually over by early May”.
“Will you check?”, I asked, panic creeping in to my voice, “… I’m pretty sure everything’s knocked back a bit next season because of the Olympics.”
He rolled his eyes and turned to his phone, and I watched intensely as his brow first furrowed, and then opened in surprise, followed by a small smile of relief. “Six days before”, he said, “the Premiership finishes six days before”.
“Phew!”, I said- and we both turned back to watch what felt like Italy’s seventh ‘how was that not a goal?!’ moment.
Lightning bolt again. “Can you just check the Champions League?”, I asked, unable to concentrate.
Paul tutted and made a big song and dance out of being torn away from the game, but dutifully retrieved his phone and had a closer look. A small smile spread across his face again, but this time it was nervous… and accompanied by wide eyes and a manic look that said “Oh shit”.
The final, ladies and gents. THE GOD DAMN CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL.
Ok, so… let’s look at this sensibly. Let’s be rational and not start throwing things. The only way this is really going to affect us is if Arsenal make it to said final. Paul is a huge Arsenal fan, as are his two brothers, and there is ‘no way on Earth’ (says Paul) the game is not being watched should Arsenal be playing in the biggest game of the football calendar come the 25th May. I briefly flitted with the idea of stomping my foot and screaming ‘No!’- well, actually, I did stomp my foot and scream ‘No!’- but even mid tantrum I knew my protestations were falling on deaf ears.
Now, Arsenal haven’t made it to the Champions League final since 2006 or something, and I’m sure there will be many football fans out there who be laughing and saying there is ‘NO WAY’ Arsenal will get to the finals. But you see there is such thing as Sod’s Law. And Sod’s Law says that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. So we must prepare for the worst.
The Great Barn, as my regular readers will know, is a completely dry hire venue so there is no bar or ‘television screening’ area as standard. This in many ways is a bonus. It means that if it’s Chelsea or Man United in the final (more likely- sorry Paul), our wedding can still remain a football-free zone. But if Arsenal do the unspeakable, we will need to bring in some sort of screen… and have the game playing in a corner somewhere… in silence preferably…
And I’ve got such a brilliant band playing as well. Sniff.
Has anyone else had any wedding date clashes? Would love to hear your tales of woe if so! And in the meantime let’s just all keep our fingers crossed that Arsenal have a really shit season…. again.